Ultimately my dream is to have my own humble farm. I am in what could be considered a rural, suburban neighborhood with two acres, only one acre can be altered from it's present state. I could feel bad about this. I could feel bad that I don't have the acreage I had hoped for, or the animals, or the barns, or the fields, etc. I feel very young but time has never paused enough for me not to age. I could easily feel frustrated that I haven't yet achieved, at my age of 41, what I have always yearned for...some form of autonomy. I fantasize about living off the grid and working towards self-reliance. Who doesn't have some desire that relates to this. We are talking about freedom! I'll admit there was a period of time where I would privately admonish myself for drifting so far from my dreams but to what end, right? Well, there was a purpose to my self-flagellation believe it or not. It gave me an opportunity to rebel. Yup, I rebelled against myself and all the lectures I would issue in my own head. I'd like to think there was a part of me that recognized (and remembered) this trait from my more youthful days. I knew how to appear easy going and accommodating. The truth is I was extremely rebellious as well as creative, like all young adults. Young adults are marvelous this way. We all know just how creative children can be when they feel the need to express rebellion. It's amazing and sometimes terrifying. As a parent I admit that as I am walking the walk of a mother of a teen that I often imagine I hear ice cracking under my feet. Yet it is a gift if we remember to stay in touch with this passionate part of ourselves. Even better...if we can continue to learn from our inner rebels while we guide our own children through their early adulthood. Now when I hear my ego start it's short sighted lecture in my cranium I allow the devils advocate to a healthy debate. Essentially, I argue back. Please don't think this little conversation is a result of a mental illness. This is how I process and suspect most of us do so in this way. I now truly understand how fortunate I am to live where I do. I realize feeling anything less than gratitude is nothing short of a sin. I am in absolute awe and appreciation of those who live with less but still thrive in ways that fulfill their needs and very concerned for those who can't. This world is not an easy place to live and all signs seem to say it's only going to get harder. We need our rebels, rebels with compassion. We need rebels with ideas and a good heart. We need our prophets, our Mr. Rogers, and our Joel Salatins. We need our farmers who care about what NOURISHES our world. These farmers can be found in the country, in the suburbs, and in the cities. We are fortunate to be hearing about and from them more and more.
How lucky am I that I got all THAT from a bunch of collards lol?!
